You Turn Me Off

You Turn Me Off

Kendrick kinda reminds me of this gay man who appeared on a VH1's "I love New York."
Kendrick kinda reminds me of this gay man who appeared on a VH1’s “I love New York.”

You’ve read my blog and I cannot lie. I’ve had helluva lot of sex.

But it’s funny. There are a handful of men who, no matter how handsome they are or how hot their bodies are, I just cannot have sex with them. My dick will barely get hard.

Sometimes it’s something they say or do. Or maybe it’s just the attitude.

One of these men is “Kendrick.” Kendrick is six-foot three, around 40 years old, with warm brown skin. He has a handsome, boy-next-door face and is built like a track star with a high plump booty.

But he turns me off no end.

I met Kendrick about two years ago when I set up a foursome. He showed up at the door wearing skinny jeans, a tight V-neck shirt cut so deep I swear I could see his navel, and a gold pair of tennis shoes with wings.

Yes, gold tennis shoes with wings. Like these!

Photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

He hadn’t even walked in the door and already he had turned me off. Here is a grown man, tall as hell, dressing like some faddish twink half his age. It was visually jarring. It just looked stupid.

Plus he was very feminine. I mean, not in a fierce Sasha kinda way. But in an old lady fussy kinda way. You know. Like that elderly aunt you have who never misses a church tea and always wears the big hats to service.

And he has a whiny tone to his voice that is grating.

A Jamaican top with a huge dick and I planned to fuck Kendrick and another bottom. But instead of trying to do foreplay Kendrick just grabbed the Jamaican guy’s limp dick and started pulling at it.

“Why isn’t it getting hard,” he whined. “Is something wrong?”

If looks could kill the stare the Jamaican guy gave Kendrick would have electrocuted him on the spot.

That one comment from Kendrick just spoiled the mood. The top moved on to the next bottom and Kendrick became the odd man out because nobody wanted to be bothered with him.

Kendrick always complains that he can never get a date, much less a hookup. So when he called me the following week I offered some advice.

“Kendrick if you want to turn a man on you don’t grab his dick and demand why it isn’t getting hard. Try some foreplay. Work his nipples or kiss his neck or something,” I began.

“And also you should never criticize a person sexually during the actual act. You embarrassed the man! Hell I was embarrassed for him!”

“Okay, I understand,” Kendrick said.

Fast forward to this September. My boyfriend “Van” and I had a sex party. Kendrick noticed the online ad and asked to come. Against my better judgement I agreed.

At the party I was playing with this cute little plump bottom dude who is a mean dick sucker when I noticed Kendrick entering the room. When the bottom stopped sucking my dick Kendrick grabbed a condom, slipped it on my dick, and tried to straddle me and put it in his ass.

My dick went limp as a noodle as soon as he touched me. Like this!

Photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

“Hey, sorry Kendrick,” I said, making an excuse. “I have to help Van handle the door. We have people knocking. Maybe later.”

“Okay,” he said.

Later I fucked the brakes off another bottom and I noticed Kendrick watching closely, like he wanted to jump in. I ignored him, which was good because another top grabbed Kendrick and gave him some dick so I was off the hook.

But the next week he texted me.

“I saw you giving that bottom some dick. Why didn’t you give me some?”

“And I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. Who is Van? Can I still come over sometime and get that big dick?”

I hate to hurt people’s feelings but this had to stop. I had to be straight up with this man or he was going to sweat me for another two years. Our text conversation went something like this. Sorry, I didn’t save it.

“Kendrick I’m sorry but you just don’t turn me on. Let’s just be friends.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m just not turned on to you sexually.”

“Well there must be some misunderstanding.”

“No, I’m serious.”


I haven’t heard from Kendrick since.

Q: Readers is there a type of man who just turns you off? Please share.




  1. Tinsel

    Lmaoooo 😅 ….you tell a mean story man!!
    There are men who are very masculine and sexy but have very distasteful attitude/personality, and that can be a turn off too.
    This Kendrick guy is living in fairyland!! Kendrick, if you’re reading this right now: Wake up and smell the coffee!!

  2. Omg I wrote a similar post about this a few months back. I am completely turned off by arrogant men and “pretty boys”. Case in point, this fine ass dude named J who lives in my hometown, has been trying to holler at me for a good minute. He’s fine, but that’s it. The little bit of wood he did give me was totally gone after I sat down and had an actual conversation with him. The whole Kanye West complex is soooo tacky to me.

    The only thing worse than that is thirst. Go audition for a Sprite commercial and gtf on, dude. Smh. I totally understand why dude turns you off. Not cute.


  3. Dane

    You will always run into these types. What amazes me, when you’re upfront and honest with them and still offer your friendship how quickly their desire for you quickly turns into hate.


  4. Men who say they don’t eat ass as a bottom I do not need that type of negativity in my life. I mean I did let the sucking of the dick go but the ass or hell to the no. A man who talk to much about his sex game turn me off completely and men who are bad kissers. Maybe that is why I am celibate since my break up.

  5. Calvin

    “At the party I was playing with this cute little plump bottom dude who is a mean dick sucker…” DAMN YOU IMMANUEL! I read this stanza and lost ALL focus! BLOODY HELL CHAP! #HORNGRY 😛 😛

    But to answer your question, men just like Kendrick. I would say drag queens too, but I am not intimately attracted to women nor men who dress like them, so they don’t count. I can be slightly effeminate myself, but not to an annoying extent like he is portrayed to be though. When it’s time for action and to handle business, you best believe I am ready to please, whatever role I am playing.

    WHO DA FUCK GETS A BIG DICK YAADIE BONE AND MAKES A MOCKERY OF IT?! OFF WITH HIS HEAD, THE TWIT! -stix tongue out- If he had any common sense, he would know that you have to awaken the beast before it STRIKES and take dat ass DOWN. Please teach him, Immanuel.
    People HAVE TO grow up, but some think that they do not HAVE TO mature. He needs to be liked from a distance until he learns his lessons, and hopefully he does so soon, as he ain’t gettin’ no younger. Neither is his apparel, which sounds like they make him look like a walking “generation gap.”

  6. marcus

    What turns me off is a loud finger snapping, hair colored, multiple earring wearing , gossipy, tight jeans wearing stone queen. I wouldn’t give a person like that the time of the day. I hate it when they hang with girls and laugh all loud and act ignorant. I avoid shit like that!! Lol

  7. gimmewhatugot

    So it seems what happened is his first impression turned you off and from then on that image stayed on your mind. People don’t realize that there is truth to someone being ugly on the inside. There are men that I am no longer attracted to because they said something slick.

    Also a lot of gay men don’t realize that that way of dressing can be a turn off. I’ve never got why men think showing cleavage looks good. By all means do you, it just looks odd to me.

    1. gimmewhatugot: Yep, first impressions matter. I will never get those metallic shoes with wings out of my mind. Those things only look good on little kids, not grown men. Kendrick rides the same commuter train with me sometimes, so I see him. He went to work in a burgundy velvet jacket! The DMV tends to be more conservative and he just stood out, and not in a good way. His sense of style is just so fabulously queenie. If he lived in Los Angeles or New York it would probably be cool though.

  8. Fortune Knowles

    i will be honest with you Immanuel and say this. Masculine men who are put together and have thier heads screwed on properly turn me on totally. I just cannot handle queeny effeminate men, If I wanted femininity, I would date a woman! In my neck of the woods,that will simply not fly.
    On the other hand however, guys who look and act like Men are extremely APPEALING and Marcus@ comment 6 sound like the sort of cat I would roll with.
    Your Kenyan bruh,

  9. Martin

    Hmmm I guess overly feminine men turn me off. Don’t get me wrong I have a lot of gay friends that are feminine and I love them, but the thought of being with a feminine man just doesn’t do it for me

  10. Ulikemydick

    I agree, over the top effeminate gay men don’t get my dick hard either.

    I recently had a situation that I had to resolve with a guy whom I didn’t find sexually attractive. We went out on two dates, got to the oral stage, but I just… didn’t want to fuck him. Don’t get me wrong, I LOOOOOVE to fuck. However, he didn’t turn me on enough. He wasn’t feminine at all, he was actually VERY masculine. But MAN was he thirsty! I mean seriously, if you looked up the definition of thirsty, his profile picture would be there. So I had to let him down gently. Thank God he took it well (no pun intended).

    Things that make my dick soft….thirsty dudes, negative attitudes, overly effeminate men, and shitty holes. Oh and women…..LOL!

  11. marcus

    Immanuel I read the above tag by ulikemydick and you guys were discussing thirsty dudes and I’m lost. I read it several times and still trying to figure out what you guys mean. Are these guys with a so called white liver? Lol.

    1. Jmz

      Now what does turn me on being the type of dude I am is a nice round azz and sexy lips, like this guy I work
      With I’d love fuck him, actually fantasize about that day.
      Wow!!he just waked in and turned his back towards me…like Backintheday Aresenio Hall show ” things that make u go hmmm”?

  12. Terry

    Awww as a feminine dude living in the south, transplant, I kinda feel for the guy. I’ve never felt such a need to conform myself and am truly less happy because I am not the bubbly, happy, dude I use to be. That’s life though. Kind f want to give the guy a hug.

  13. SpeakingTheTruth

    Selfish men turn me off. I like to submit but I need it back. I need to be paid attention too and touched. If the sex not going the way I want It to go I will make an excuse. I’ll grab my phone out the blue and be like I have to go or they have to go. Those types of guys are Narcissistic. It’s all about them. Also if you keep talking about how good you look and ask me where I got a piece of my clothing. Please don’t ask me how much or where did I get a item. I hate that. A compliment is cool but don’t try to add my gear up. I don’t like competing with people I date or people I’m having a sexual in counter with. That’s why I like my men plain. A Tee and jeans or sweats.

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