White Privilege

White Privilege

Gay porn sends the subtle racist message that black men serve the needs and fantasies of whites. Photo courtesy of

When Morgan and I were on the Christmas cruise we attended a meeting of “Friends of Dorothy,” a reception given on cruises so LGBT people can meet and greet.

There were about a dozen people gathered around the bar, mostly male couples. One really nice guy was on the cruise with his parents, sister and brother-in-law and their kids and wanted to briefly escape from the straight relatives and let his hair down among gay folks.

We stood around with drinks and chatted, exchanging tips about what shore excursions to go on and what were the best gay-friendly cruises and vacation packages to book.

Morgan and I were the only African American couple there.

One of the white guys who was part of a couple started flirting with me a bit. And then just out of the blue he said with a glint in his eye, “You know when I have a few drinks I will do just about anything.” And he eyed my crotch .

It was kind of embarassing. The man was very nice and could carry on a good conversation but was not my type. He was an aging twink — at one time he was probably really cute but he dressed too young and acted to coquettishly for his age.

I glanced over at Morgan. He did not look amused either. The white guy and his partner got the message — we weren’t interested in a foursome — and there was an awkward silence.

“I guess we will catch up you guys later on the cruise,” I finally said. “We are going to go try to catch a comedy show now.”

And Morgan and I headed off for the comedy club at the stern of the boat. For the rest of the cruise I saw this couple and even worked out in the gym next to them but they didn’t acknowledge me or even say hello.

Morgan and I talked about it later. About how white gay guys sometimes take it for granted that because they are white they automatically have the right to have sex with us. And get mad and bitchy when we don’t respond.

 Don’t get me wrong. There are many nice white guys and Morgan and I know know interracial couples who are in healthy relationships. But I remember the days when I was trolling Adam4Adam and white guys would hit me up. No matter how out of shape or unattractive they were they assumed my dick was there to fuck their asses silly. Oftentimes they wouldn’t even say hello or ask my name.

Castro (left) and a buddy get ready to nail a white guy. Photo courtesy of

“I want some of that black cock.”

“I’m free this afternoon after work. Come over and give me some of that python.”

“I love black dick. When can you come over?”

And check out Craigslist sometimes. There are black guys who prefer white men and advertise for that. But they are outnumbered five-to-one by white men seeking “big black cocks” to come over and use their holes like pussies. Oh, and bring all your black buddies along with you to hit some of this white ass if they want.

This subtle racism, this objectification of black gay men’s bodies, is reflected in porn. How many movies are there where some white twink is gangbanged by black “thugs” or some old white man gets served by a big black dick? Shoot, the horse-hung black porn star Castro, who is also known by the name Supreme, now seems to do no movies other than fucking mostly average looking white dudes on porn Websites such as “It’s Gonna Hurt.”

Meanwhile the rest of black porn is dominated by “thug” movies. Is that all the larger gay society thinks black men are — “thugs” and “Mandingos” put on this earth to fit their narrow definition of what they think a black gay man is?


  1. Amir

    I get your point about many white men having a mindset of white entitlement. They may be unattractive, out of shape, old, or just gay, their psychology is: but at least I’m white. As though that is a trump card Similarly, the way some black people used to feel about being light complexioned. Honestly though, the image of a beautiful brown but t being dominated by a pink dick bothers me more.

  2. I totally agree. Some of those “blacks on white daddies” themed pornos might as well be a bunch of niggas up on an auction block. Hell, the white men look at us with eyes just as greedy, ya know? And I also look at the black men as well and think “damn, he will stick his dick in ANYTHING”. Personally, I’d rather fuck a woman before I would an old white man, and that means alot coming from me.

  3. @Amir: Funny you mention you are turned off by white men fucking black men. My partner Morgan is biracial and it bothers him too, which surprises me. He said black people have been denigrated and diminished enough throughout American history and said scenes where black men are fucked in a aggressive and demeaning way upset him. Especially when the top is some fat unattractive white man. Scenes where black men are being made love to turn him on. I agree.

    @Cogito: So good to hear from you. Yeah, those movies where black men fuck old white Daddies can be disturbing. What makes me really makes me man is that I love mature Black male porn. But when you search for it (google “black” “mature” gay” “Porn”) you mostly overweight old white dudes doing or being done by older black guys. And that ain’t cute LOL. Stay in touch.

  4. Sam

    You make interesting points from your cruise experience. I often wonder why us gay people have to put sex in front of plain friendship.

    Having just found your blog, it sounds like you’ve been through some major life changes. Sounds like you found a good man in Morgan.

  5. Stevie

    I’m a latino gay male in the southwest and I I might have a different outlook in that Im around gay white men socially. I guess I look white because people don’t know I’m Latino till they see my last name and gay white men speak freely. Not all but many gays are very racist where educated, liberal minded men will make the most racist comments that floors me. Unfortunately the comments are made about black and asian men especially if none are around. These
    same people will talk to black gay men in public like they are best friends and don’t seem to have a racist bone in their body. I’ve heard Asians and Latinos make comments also but let’s face it…white gay men own the “gay world” as we all know.

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