The Couple that Plays Together…

The Couple that Plays Together…

Some gay couples are so comfortable in their relationship they easily play sexually with others. Photo courtesy of
Some gay couples are so comfortable in their relationship they easily play sexually with others. Photo courtesy of

A few weeks ago I was at a popular sex party thrown by an African guy in the basement of his rowhouse in East Baltimore.

The room was humid and dark, so I stood against the wall in the shadows and just observed a couple fucking furiously on a mattress in front of me.

But then this tall, chocolate covered brother brushed against me. Then he put out his hand and started fondling my body. And before I knew it we were kissing and groping, ignoring everybody else around.

“What’s your name,” I whispered in his ear.

“Ivan,” he said.


“Hey Immanuel, come in the bathroom with me. I want some privacy.”

So I followed him. We went in the bathroom and shut the door and turned on the light. I hadn’t been able to see him clearly in the dark and surprisingly he was very handsome. He reminded me Bryce Wilson, the actor from “Beauty Shop” and rapper and musician from Mantronix and Groove Theory.

Ivan sat on the toilet and motioned for me to put my dick in his mouth. And I did and he sucked in rapidly while holding onto my hips and pulling me in closer. In a few minutes he stopped and looked me in the eyes.

“I want to see that nutt.”

I was already close so I jacked off a load of thick creamy nutt on his chest and washed up in the sink.

Then we got to talking. I told him I was dating someone and in an open relationship and he told me so was he.

“A matter of fact he’s here too,” Ivan said. “He’s the thick guy that was out there fucking that light-skinned dude.”

“Wait, he is here?” I asked. I immediately got uncomfortable. I was playing with some dude’s man in the bathroom. Who knew if he would get jealous and come in ready to fight.

My worry must have shown on my face because Ivan just smiled a bright movie star grin. “Don’t worry. It’s okay. Victor and I go to sex parties with each other all the time.”

Later Ivan introduced me to Victor, a handsome stocky, dark-skinned dude with a ton of energy. They were in their late 30s or early 40s and had been with each other almost 10 years, which is forever in gay relationship years. They had each been married and had kids. They even wore matching tattoos that looked like black thunderbolts streaking across their dark skin.

You could see they cared deeply for each other and their was a camaraderie about them I admired.

A few weeks later I had a chance to talk to Victor about the arrangement. How did it work out for them?

“Hey man, it’s just sex. And dudes are going to fuck around anyway. So why not fuck around together?”

I think Ivan and Victor are on to something. I know several long-term black male gay couples. They all fool around, sometimes behind each other’s back or with the tacit approval of the other. So why not just be open about it?


  1. See i ended a 7 year relationship on that. I cant and wont do it. I feel like thats cool for some but not for me. I am all about spicing up the bedroom but adding another is my breaking point. I commend people who do but it is not for me. I am a freaky person. I do it any and everywhere my top wants me. He could never say i didnt but sex with another person is just not me.

  2. worst_1_yet

    Man, I have noticed that so much goes into the messing around with someone other than your own man, and a shit-ton more of it is goes beyond, “let’s just be open about this.”
    Every possible situation becomes a Catch-22 and a contradiction of emotions. It’s all going to get down to “trust” one way or the other. Been awhile since I roamed and fucked some strange though. Damn. Does have its strong points, but it don’t outweigh losing a good man.

  3. Tinsel

    Sensitive subject!! Seems to me most gay couples these days are going open. What a shame! Lack of sacrifice. Lack of real genuine love. Sex is sex, but within a relationship, the connection of sex to emotion, love and sacrifice is very deep and intense. Doesn’t say much about gay men. Reason I’m against this nonsensical battle for Gay Marriage equality…”Marriage”?? Huh?? Two tears in a bucket…

    1. Tinsel open relationships work for some and not others. Every marriage is different…it is up to each couple to set their own rule. And what does gay marriage rights have to do with it? There are straight married couples who have open relationships and swing together. I know several.

  4. Calvin

    What we have encountered here is ‘GROWN FOLKS BIZNESS’. I like how this is yet another portrayal of how humans can exist in relationships of varying types and styles, no matter the sexual orientation.
    I am not sure of the full terms, conditions and agreements of their relationship, but I do truthfully say that I am not sure it is for me.
    I am 27 now, but when I was younger, I used to judge BIG TIME these types of relationships. Now as I am approaching 3O, I am giving some of my traditional viewpoints (esp. on the topic of monogamy) some second thought.
    What works for the goose may not work for the gander, but it still works nonetheless.
    I still have questions though: Why be in a relationship any at all? Why not just be single and hookup/’play’ often? Why get married [children optional] if you still want to gaze (not that we can help gazing anyways, ALL of us humans :0P ) and carry on as if you still live in ‘singledom’? IF you do ‘play’, why not be open about your feelings BEFORE stepping out? Is using the cliche’ “men lie, women lie” enough to justify “playing around”, thereby disregarding monogamy? Can us as men, ever be truly monogamous, even in thought? #questionsexisting
    I unloaded a lot, but these are the simple thoughts that come to mind when these topics arise. And I’d love to hear the grown people [35 & above] commenting.
    Happy Summer!

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