Sexual Imprinting

Sexual Imprinting

Beaver (actor Jerry Mathers) and his dad Ward Cleaver (Hugh Beaumont).

While out in Los Angeles earlier this month I caught up with my screenwriter buddy “Drake” at my usual hangout the 24 diner on Santa Monica.

Drake grew up in the hood in Oakland, was a hip hop dancer for rap artists back in the day, and can debate any black issue of the day, including the police murder of Michael Brown in Ferguson.

Despite his black consciousness Drake has had a white lover going on 20 years. And by white I mean middle American, straight-laced, Perry Como-looking white.

They get along well and are deeply committed but when you see them together you think “How the fuck did those two get together?”

But Drake says “Michael” is his type. The fatherly white type.

It seems when Drake was growing up he was hooked on shows like “My Three Sons,” “Leave it to Beaver,” and “The Brady Bunch.”

And as a young budding gay lad he found himself attracted to the white Daddys he saw on the family TV.

“Hey, I like what I like,” he says without a trace of shame or guilt.

I’m just a few years older and watched the same shows. But hell I would do John Amos from “Good Times” or Clifton Davis From “That’s My Momma” before Mr. Cleaver, the father of Beaver.

Q: Readers do you think the men you saw on TV or comics in your youth influenced your taste in men?


  1. tinsel

    I find myself attracted to older men too. But I do find my peers attractive as well. However, I know deep down in my heart that an older man would make a LTR candidate than my peers. I believe the main reason for my attraction to older men is my non-close relationship with my dad from when I was a child. And I’m cool with my attraction to older men. I find them sexy, mature and kinda erotic lol!

  2. Fortknowx

    I would do John Amos in a heartbeat. His strong masculine, in-charge persona is very attractive. It did not hurt that he had a tight body on Good Times,LOL. Seriously though,I am only 34 but I find older, mature Black men irresistable! Folks like you Immanuel Addams, turn me on!

  3. I’m actually not shocked by this at all. I feel like it’s always the militant black man, or the black socially conscience, the black civil struggle man, who always ends up with the white person. I mean the list is long. Even though Get On Up is out and a great movie, the “I’m Black and I’m Proud” singer James Brown ended up with a white woman, but we don’t see that in the movie…Henry Louis Gates is all about the strength of the black family and legacy, but was married to a white woman…Color of Change Van Jones, white woman… Frederick Douglass, slave turned abolitionist Frederick Douglass ended up with a white woman.
    However I don’t think any of them would based their choice of television watching as youths…Ward Cleaver? Maybe Mike Brady, pre-70s perm. I think Uncle Bill from A Family Affair or the original “Parent Trap”
    I personally think there is something deeper to his white daddy thing, but leaving it alone.

    Clifton Davis does not count, he was not a dad. He was a son…hence “That’s my momma!” He was fine in the 70s though better than John Amos, eeehhhh
    He couldn’t hit it with a bat. There was always something about his nose that bothered me…sorry
    Any of Wilona’s men could get it first, Thelma’s husband Keith could get it first, Pimp Sweet Daddy could get it first, Micheal and that fat booty…talk about corduroys booty could get it first..There was this episode with a young John Witherspoon, he could get it…Robert “Superstar” Simpson, who played the basketball player who tried to kill himself at JJ party could get it first. But James Evans Sr….eh no.

    I think I rather do Heathcliff Huxtable over James Evans….even though you were probably in your 20s when he was a dad, and I was like 4

    1. LOL! Great comment as usual. And yeah, it’s funny how influential blacks end up crossing the color line. Hey I’m sticking by James Evans but I still like your list. Robert “Superstar” Simpson and a young John Witherspoon are noteworthy. Thelma’s husband Keith was too corny. Bill Cosby…nah! No way. I was too yong to really watch him on I Spy so in my formative years he was doing Jello Pudding commercials. That was NOT sexy. Oh and please don’t forget the guy who played “Mad Dog” the gang member on Good Times, actor Oscar DeGruy. He is 64 and still looks great. But brother was fine as hell back on Good Times. Here’s a clip of him from the show (

  4. Well I didn’t say nothing about no pudding commercial. As a TV dad I would do Cliff Huxtable before James Evans. Keith may have more corn in him than a bucket Orville Redenbacher….movie theater butter flavor, but I would still do him and his yellow dick over James.
    You must have did that clip for your other readers, because I know about Cleon “Mad Dog” Edwards. I love it when a thug gets all vulnerable, him crying in front of James at the end of that episode.He probably had 70s ole school dick.

    1. LOL, 70’s ole school dick. You are crazy LOL. The actor who played him is now big into the Ba’hai faith out in California. Ba’hai teach that all major religions have the same spiritual source and all men should live together in peace. That’s a big swing from the Mad Dog character.

  5. SpeakingTruth

    I will take james evans over any of the tv dads back in the day especially Mr. Huxible. As far as ur friend maybe he feels the need to be so afro centric since he is with a white man. A suburban corney white man at that. Im not hung on race or anything of that matter but when somebody normally put they self in a box and go for a particular type its def a story behind it especially when ur type has no $ex appeal. Get it. Because i got it.


  6. worst_1_yet

    Well, obviously men and women of all shapes, sizes, and colors are getting dick from all shapes, sizes, and colors, so I don’t think the statement that entire groups of people “have no sex appeal” holds much water. White boy here, would rather sleep with a woman than 99% of the other white guys walking the planet, but when you get right down to it, there’s no accounting for personal taste. Opinions are like assholes . . . eh? Everybody’s got one. Would have jumped in bed with Todd Bridges and Michael from Good Times, back in the day, and his daddy too. Werd.

  7. Slim

    When i was young i had a variety of tastes…looking back i wondered why as a young boy, i had crushes on grown men..*shrugs* is what is. Sherman Hemsley,mike evans(lionel #1) pierce brosnan, haywood nelson,lee horsley(80s tv show matt houston) gil gerard(buck rogers) reggie jackson, maurice white(ew&f) ‘rollo’from sanford and son, and bill cosby..i used to love looking at his ass in them khakis on the cosby

    1. Wow Slim, you are bringing back some memories! But Gil Gerard from Buck Rodgers? Nah. He had a fat butt and looked like he was stuffed in that costume. Sherman Hemsley. Nah. He was funny as hell (especially when playing off Florence Henderson) but sexy? No way.

  8. I had a serious crush on fuckin’ JUDD HIRSCH, “Alex” on Taxi. I am still super into Jews, and I don’t know if it’s cuz of that early random crush on Judd Hirsch or if that crush on Judd Hirsch was because I am just wired to be into that. I grew up in the south, where Jews were in such short supply that it wasn’t even clear to me what a Jew actually was, and have no idea why I imprinted that way. But “imprinted” definitely feels like the right word. He is so totally not an attractive dude! I sometimes feel like I was the subject of some kind of brainwashing experiment, to end up hot for Judd Hirsch. The mind of a closeted gay kid is a weird thing.

    I will say I liked it when John Amos would show up on Good Times. He did fill out his clothes nicely, and I would always get a random thrill by the way he’d say, “Florida”. But my most formative crush was Batman. I hated Robin because he was little and twerps and didn’t deserve to be with big hunky Batman. The disparity in the sizes of their bulges was very symbolic to me; Robin seriously had nada. And yet somehow I ended up a top!

    1. Wow, what a great comment. My philosophy: You like what you like. Why you like what you like doesn’t matter.

      Batman I never cared for. I did think Eartha Kitt as Catwoman was hot as hell. I met her once and she called me cute and rubbed my head. I could have died and gone to Heaven.

      Okay enough rambling! Thanks for taking the time to read the blog and comment! Have a great weekend.

  9. Caribbean prince

    Uh on a age aspect I don’t care younger or older just as long as you mature minded and you rocking with me. As for race I’m not attracted to white guys but there are exceptions to the rule just had an affinity for our brothers. I grew up with a Caribbean background so we tend to be more Afrocentric than our American counterparts not saying that in a general sense but more so from my experience. Just love the bruthas

  10. Jay

    I read this post the day it was posted and the comments about John Amos as James Evans on Good Times brought back some wet dreams for me………:o). So much so that I went on Crackle and binged watched several Good times episodes.

    As a kid, and even today, I’ve been attracted to older, tall and fit men of all races. Perhaps that’s due to my Daddy complex because he was a tall and muscular construction worker back when constructions maintained their physiques as a result of working at their jobs carrying and lifting heavy objects.

  11. Michael Manson

    That John Amos and. Clifton Davis shit had me on the floor. As a kid I was always cock checking James Evans in his tight ass pants yo. But word up, they would get any day before I slip Ward the dick!

  12. Jmz

    I don’t so. Although watching Shaft and seeing Richard Roundtree and hearing Issac Hayes did it .My teens it was Michael Jordan and that dunk with his
    Tongue hanging out his mouth.

  13. SpeakingTheTruth

    Not me not TV. It was definitely the neighborhood I grew up in. I grew up in the crack erra so the drug dealers and the bad ass boys I grew up with influenced my taste in men and that’s why I’m single. You don’t find that in this life unless they are looking for money or they get leave it to beaver Dad.

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