hoesaintloyalThe gay world is messy. I try to stay above it. But as any faithful reader of this blog can attest sometimes I get messy, too.

But on Friday I won an Oscar for “Best Supporting Actor in a Messy Drama.” Whew, it surprised even me. But first I have to give you the background.

In the last six months or so of my relationship with my ex “Morgan” the sex just wasn’t there. He barely touched me and always made excuses for his low libido.

It was his medication, or I was nagging him too much, or he was having erectile dysfunction.Yet I saw signs he was masturbating or possibly playing on the side. Dirty, cum-crusted tissues under the desk in his office and bottles of lube. A hard drive full of gigabytes of porn. A sex toy left out by accident that I discovered when I came home  from work.

So I decided, after a year of being faithful, to step out and get some sex on the side. Because I was horny and frustrated all the time and the man I really loved and wanted was leaving me high and dry and not wanting to fix the problem, let alone talk about it.

And one of the guys I hooked up with was “Omar,” this handsome, well-built, middle-aged accountant who was also cheating on his man. Omar is a Creole from Louisiana with brown skin, a nice body, a big dick for visuals and a decent ass for fucking.

Omar's body. I won't show the face to avoid further drama.
Omar’s body. I won’t show the face to avoid further drama.

One day when I was off from work I invited him over to the house I shared with Morgan, took him up to the third floor and fucked him on the floor. The sex was not all that spectacular.

And I have not fucked Omar again in the more than two-and-a-half years since that happened although we text each other every few months, mostly to flirt or just catch up.

On Friday evening I got a text from Omar saying something upsetting had happened to him that day.

“What happened?” I texted back.

And I got this story. Omar had met Morgan online and the two had decided to hook up. So Omar went to his house. According to Omar, Morgan met him at the door and was so turned on or just plain horny that he got naked in a minute flat.

But Omar wasn’t feeling Morgan and didn’t want to go through with sex. He turned Morgan down and Morgan asked him why.

Instead of just saying he wasn’t physically attracted to him, Omar told Morgan he felt uncomfortable because he had sex in the same house before with a guy he thought was in a relationship with Morgan.

Yep, Hoes ain’t loyal. Omar threw me under the bus.

“Oh no, why did you put me out like that lol,” I texted.

“I got scared. I’m so sorry,” Omar responded.

“That was not cool at all. So you ended up hurting him twice. By rejecting him then saying you were with me.”

“You are right…now I really feel bad,” Omar texted.

Omar said Morgan got pushy and started drilling him with questions, in person and later by cellphone text. Did I fuck Omar or had Omar been fucking me? Did Omar attend any sex parties (I guess Morgan was referring to ones I and Van are are having that are clearly advertised on Adam4Adam for anyone to see).

Omar didn’t respond to the question about what he and I did sexually and told Morgan he didn’t even like going to sex parties.

Omar said he feared if he outright had rejected Morgan the situation would have gotten worse. I didn’t believe him.

“Like he would have gotten violent or something. Please”

“Not what I meant,” Omar answered.

“Next time just say you aren’t feeling a person and walk out. You weren’t a prisoner there.

“Ok. I’m sorry. I know you (are) over it but I wanted to say it again.”

I just couldn’t believe it. Omar is fifty-something years old and couldn’t just walk out of a potentially bad hookup?

“I’m not exactly over it…we are all human. But I don’t think we should communicate again. Take care.”


  1. Fortune Knowles

    Immanuel, funny that you should write about messy fuckers.. I just got stood up today by some fool I had arranged to meet up with after work. I texted the fucker this morning telling him I wanted to get together and he says he is hard up so I send him fare. Mind you, I have shagged him before. Fast fwd to when I leave work, when I call him he doesnt pick up then starts sending me some bullshit texts. Last I called, fool didnt even pick up. Just as well, now I know who to drop like a hot shit and let go like a rumbling fart!

  2. Derek Perry

    You did Omar’s messy ass just right!!! It amazes me how even though we are grown-ass men, it’s always a few in the bunch that like to “stir” up shit….. He didn’t have to do that…. Damn! You did nothing wrong, don’t you dare harbor any guilt…..

  3. marcus

    Hey pal. I would ease away from Omar. He’s frustrated because you won’t have sex with him anymore. You said when you guys have sex it wasn’t good to you but I’m sure your sex was very good to him knowing you. Lol. He threw you under the bus to get even…. In a nutshell, you’ve moved on to someone better with Van. Let sleeping dogs lie. Lol

    1. That’s an interesting theory but he is getting a lot of dick elsewhere so why be vindictive towards me? Omar tells me how he will rent a downtown hotel room and get sex before and after work. I never understood why he was in a relationship if he had to cheat like that. A buddy who knows Omar told me this weekend that Omar is a notorious flirt who will even play with his big dick through his clothes at the club to get attention. Omar allegedly dated a jealous guy who beat him. One time this guy claimed Omar was flirting when they were out at the club. He got so angry he threw Omar’s keys in the bushes so he couldn’t drive home. I’m not sure this is the guy he dates now. But it shows Omar has been messy for some time.

  4. First off, eeeeewwww at him leaving crusty tissue and sex toys just laying around…wtf? The unfortunate part about all this is that Trust and Respect was lost at the expense of a real good homie. Granted, I, myself, have been in situations where my reflex is to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, and usually saying the worst timed stuff… But at least own up to your shit though. You’re right to drop contact with the both of em…

  5. gimmewhatugot

    Sounds like something from a Tyler Perry movie or Zane novel. To me, sounds like Omar got revenge for you not giving him seconds. I’d prob hook up with Omar tho. Having that body in his 50’s! I’d bite.

  6. worst_1_yet

    Ugh. Drag city and what the fuck??? Omar is a moron, but I guess all you can do is apologize to Morgan next time you speak. Any lingering frustrations should be taken out on Omar’s ass one last time before you send him on his way. 😀

  7. Calvin

    “I wasn’t born last night
    I know these hoes ain’t right
    But you was blowing up her phone last night
    But she ain’t have her ringer nor her ring on last night, oh
    Nigga, that’s that nerve
    Why give a bitch your heart
    When she rather have a purse?
    Why give a bitch your inch
    When she rather have nine?
    You know how the game goes
    She be mine by half time, I’m the shit, oh
    Nigga, that’s that nerve
    You all about her, and she all about hers
    Birdman Junior in this bitch, no flamingos
    And I done did everything but trust these hoes!”

    WHY would he offer any DETAILED explanation?! My Granny would always say: “SENSE AIN’T COMMON!” #byeFelicia!
    And now you know better than to treat dese hoes more than anything other than such.

  8. Morgan

    Against my better judgement I decided to read your blog even though I swore I would never do so ever again. [Especially since our last exchange 14 months ago became hostile after I finally admitted to you that I was dating someone but I wasn’t interested. He was only 31 years old]. In hindsight, I wasn’t emotionally healed enough to date someone seriously yet. But I was curious about your blog as you are very talented and entertaining. You are a grown man, so your sexcapades and bath house adventures don’t concern me. But this story is unbelievable. I guess you can’t Fact Check, drama shit like this?! I did meet Omar after he pressed to meet me for almost a year. I told him that I don’t fuck guys in relationships. He gave me some sorry ass story that he was in a mutually open relationship and it was almost over. He caught me on a day I was very horny. Hey, what the hell? I planned to captured and release his lame ass back into the wild anyway. We exchanged pictures again. He gave me a few compliments and pressed me to come over. When he came over, I was fully dressed. We talked for almost 10 minutes on the couch. He said he had to tell me something. “I think you are a really nice guy, but I have to tell you something, I’ve been here before; I was fucked by the guy who owns this house. I would be uncomfortable having sex with you”. “Damn, another messy nigga telling me that my ex fucked him in my house”, I thought. I thanked him and told him that “we are good and we don’t need to throw it back in Immanuel’s face or mentioned that he and I ever met”.

    Immanuel, we don’t need to continue exposing our lives to the masses but since you have; let’s get the record straight. I should have communicated to you about all the things I didn’t like about our relationship instead of only some of the things. I got frustrated because I felt you didn’t listen to me so I shut down emotionally, sexually, etc. So for that, I apologize. I wish I handled that better.

    I didn’t cheat on you during the relationship but that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we are both in a happier place. Can we please stop fighting?

    I did love you and will always love you. You were my heart.

    PS: I am so happy to read about you and your son working it out. Wow, that is so awesome!


  9. Morgan

    Just to be clear, I never got undressed, nor tried to have sex with him. Nor made him feel ill at ease. I don’t know what Omar hoped to gain from this fabrication unless he was worried that I would tell you about this first. All of this drama was certainly unnecessary.

  10. SpeakingTheTruth

    He was being messy on so many levels. Number 1 he knew when he was going over to that house who house it was. If he was attracted to him he would of fucked him and then told him all about yaw sex cause that’s how gay men are. Number 2 why go in the house if your not attracted to him. Why get somebody hopes up. I never started feeling insecure until I started messing with men and I’m sexy. But what half may think is sexy the other half don’t and if we don’t get that validation from the whole pie it makes us feel like shit. A ugly gay man can make the most attracted gay man feel like a monster. Seen it happen so many times!!! So sad

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