He Just Might be Crazy

He Just Might be Crazy

So my hot-cold frenemy “Colin” texts me Friday and says he wants to get out. The weather has been bitterly cold and snow is frozen on the ground so I guess he has cabin fever.

He asks me what I am doing and I say finishing some take-home work and possibly hitting a club or bar later.

“Why don’t you come up to Baltimore and hang out?” I text.

“Nah, that’s too far.

“Well, why are you bothering me? I’m at home minding my own business. You hit me up.”

“Well, I was just thinking out loud,” he answered.

“Well why text me with what you are thinking?!?! I can’t read your mind through a text?”

Uggghh!!! Arggggh!!!! What was that exchange all about? From the way it started it sounded like he wanted to hang out. Then to pull the carpet out from under that was just weird.

Which led me to realize some gay men are just crazy. For those of us who are politically correct I’ll rephrase that to say “living with a mental illness.”

I have experienced so many incidents and heard so many tales of gay men just doing crazy, irrational stuff it makes me wonder. Shit you’ve read it in my blog. The lies. The inability to form strong bonds and relationships.The fickleness. The needless bullshitting.

So today I did a little Googling, entering the terms “gay” and “mental illness” and sure enough the evidence bears me out.

crazyMost gay men are sane and resilient people. However they are still more prone to live with a mental illness.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention gay men are more likely to suffer from depression during teen and adult years and have increased risk of being bipolar or having an anxiety disorder.

Part of the reason for this is that gay men continue to suffer from discrimination. And trying to hide your sexuality from disapproving family and friends for years can make anyone go bonkers.

Studies have shown openly gay men tend to be more well adjusted. However, coming out may not be advisable for some gay men if it puts them in physical danger or causes a major family disruption, psychologists warn.

So what have I learned this weekend? Every few months “Colin” and I hang out but the relationship has thankfully been platonic for five years. I try to be forgiving and understand of folks but after that stupid stunt he pulled Friday I have decided to cut him out of my life.

Because I’m too old to put up with crazy anymore.


  1. Tinsel

    Immanuel, you know I will comment! I never fail to comment when you come up with controversial topics such as this posting.
    Firstly, I disagree with you Immanuel. This isn’t a “crazy behavior” as you make it out to be. But I do agree it can be frustrating for a “non-chaser”. Obviously, you’re not a “Chaser” Immanuel! You want to get it easy, but it’s not always like that unfortunately. Some gay guys like to be “pursued”, “wooed”, “courted”, or “romanced”…even if were just a casual hookup yup!
    It is just how they are wired. Perhaps your friend is sexually attracted to you and wants you to hit it, but since you’ve not made any aggressive moves for 5yrs, he is frustratingly giving you hints to pursue him! I don’t expect you to fully comprehend this dynamism in sexual relationship. Some personalities flourish in a “chaser/chased” affair. Your buddy probably wanted you to persuade him to come over to your crib, or have you show more aggressive desire for him yet in a subtle manner. Confused? I bet! Even heterosexual females and some males have such sexual behaviors. And there are personalities who prefer to “chase” and don’t like to get at the “chased” easily -they like to put in some work for the prize!
    And contrary to this, there are personalities who are void of these behaviors -they just want it simple, easy and straightforward. It’s all a sexual behavior.

  2. Gimme

    I’m definitely of the crazy variety. I have and still do suffer from depression. And I have some forms anxiety and panic attacks. I never thought it had anything to do with my “not being out” but now that I think about it, it most likely does somewhat. I’m shit out of luck because I’ll never be out to my family. I’m okay with suffering in silence. Rather that than be thought of as the fag of the family. No offense to you guys of course. I’m happy for anyone who is able to do that but for me, it’ll never happen.

  3. marcus

    Hey Manny,
    I read your blog about Colin 5 times. I think you’re being too hard on him my man. You going to cut him off for life for that?. You seemed angry because he decided that he wasn’t up to driving to bmore to hang out with you in cold winter weather. I think you felt kinda rejected lol. I think he called just to talk to you because he misses you bruh. Sometimes I be thinking to myself about going to the mall, a bar or pub and then I’ll change my mind when I think about the drive to get there and then the long drive back. He may had been kinda tired from work. Yes, you was minding your own business and he did contact you but like i said, I think he was thinking about you and wanted to touch bases with you…Also Manny you used the word crazy alot when describing gay people. I meant alot of crazy azz straight people in my life as well. Lol. The CDC did back you up when you say that most gay people suffer from mental illness from the pressure of being gay, especially those that are not out so I do get that. So in closing you know Colin and I don’t. Maybe he is strange but I do think that we should be a little more patient and tolerant of people who don’t act like we think they should act. Okay my friend?

  4. Dean

    I agree. He’s not crazy and from your story you cut him out of your life for no good reasons. Does that make you crazy? No. It makes you someone who acted out of poor judgment.

    And to me he seems to be someone who was feeling you out. And in this respect, see the comments by Tinsel.

    Yes, gay men tend to be flighty but that’s likely the result of looking for “the best deal in” sex morning, noon and night. And they also have problems for often leading double lives–DL–secretly gay.

  5. Jmz

    I can agree being in love with someone who doesn’t necessary reciprocate those same feelings makes you delirious. I just ended a relationship like this with me having a thought about something he said concerning another man, who is a past lover/ claimed he’s a friend and when I called to explain I get Shot down and told I’m crazy and fucked up in the head! Well I’m not, just love/lust makes you do things you normally don’t do. I believe we’ve all probably done bizarre things for ppl we care about. I think that was more an excuse to move on, but my eyes are wide open to that and I think we shouldn’t judge so quickly, but when it’s done it’s done that’s just life.

  6. Okay readers let me get Y’all straight. When I say someone is crazy I mean it. This was not the first Colin crazy incident. Last summer he had to get his car serviced in Baltimore and was in the area. He said why don’t we hang out a bit. I went to the car dealership and he wasn’t there! And he didn’t answer his phone. Now that’s crazy.

    1. Gimme

      Yes, that’s pretty cray cray. I would never pull some shit like that. He must be bi-polar because most depressed people aren’t so openly dismissive of other people’s time. Might be a little narcissistic too.

  7. marcus

    Hell yea that’s crazy and inconsiderate too. Time is valuable. It kills me when I call somebody and they don’t answer the phone and you know they are there…. Smh. Like I said you know him, we don’t.

  8. Fortune Knowles

    Immanuel, you do what you need to. Of all the people in your life, gay and/or otherwise, you need to let this dude go… This is needless aggravation you dont need. There’s 7 billion souls on this Earth, you cant be getting riled up about some Mad Crazy fool who happened across your path once upon a time.
    I say dump the cukoo homie,kick him to the kerb and let him get the stepping.
    My two cents…. Wash your hands off him and proceed with your Life’s journey. His reason and season for existing in your life is long passed, the sooner he leaves, the better it will be for you.
    Much Love Immanuel 🙂

  9. SpeakingTheTruth

    I will slightly disagree with those stats or maybe those stats are for white and other races but damn sure not black. It seems like the ones who are out in Philly have the worse problems. They are the ones with the most trust issues. Families walked out on them and they were teased every day of their life in child hood. The pretty out ones get used for their bodies and looks. And the out gays against the out gays are vicious. They tear each other down and bite each other back out. Then comes the hard drugs and prostitution. Should I say more or less. They are the ones who are fucked up in the head and they want to make every other gay especially DL as miserable as they are. Yes DL have issues too. Trying to live double life or deprive your self of what you like will have u fucked up a little bit not like those out gays. You can’t joke with them or even give them a compliment with out them feeling some type of way. I forgot to add that they have a harder time finding employment and keeping employment. We not even gonna get into the tranny’s. They are not woman they are gay men who dress like woman. If they cut their dick off and add a vagina they are still men. When they sweat they still smell like men. They have the worse mental illness of us all.

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