Down-low Desperation

Down-low Desperation

Photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

Late last Thursday night he hit me up on

A tall, dark-skinned brother in his late 30’s. Just two miles away if you drove in a straight line.

“Look, I just want to suck some dick,” he texted. “I don’t drive but you could come over.”

I’m not lying. His photos looked hot. We phoned each other. His voice was masculine and had that edge to it. You know, that huskiness and urgency that is in the timbre of a man’s voice when he is horny as shit.

“Yeah, text me that address.”

But when he gave me his address he directed me to come to the rear of the row house.

“Why? Are you not alone?”

“My girl and kids are upstairs sleeping. It would take an hour on buses to come to you. But I can open the basement door and you can just come downstairs. I want to suck that big dick.”

“Dude, are you crazy? That’s so disrespectful.”

“I’m feeling hormonal,” he answered. “Just come over.”

There was no way I would have done that. What if his son or daughter woke up and walked downstairs and saw Daddy doing something salacious that would have them laying on a therapist’s couch 20 years from now?

What if his girl came down? And had a knife. Or a gun. Or a frying pan.

Oh HELL no I wasn’t going.

But his dilemma made me think. How long could his situation go on? I had been down that road years ago (read my earlier blog entries to see).

I had come far enough to see where his path would lead.

This wasn’t going to come to a good end. He was going to break out of this down-low prison eventually or his woman was going to find out and spring him from prison himself, possibly in a messy, disastrous way.

I wanted to tell him so much. To give advice. To warn.

Instead I logged off, turned over and went to sleep. The next time he hits me up I promise I will try to talk to him but that Thursday night I was too tired.





  1. Omg, yo… I’ve never understood why grown men can be so careless about such dangerous things. Not only am I NOT having sex with ANYONE while my kids and/or family is in the house, I’m not even gonna do it w/a nigga who thinks that shit is okay. A little risk-factor can be kinda kinky, say, when you’re getting it on in a dressing room or something. But the last thing I need is for ANYONE to see me spreading eagle, unless they too are getting in on the action. Lol. Fuuuck that.


      1. Jmz

        I Have known A thug brotha for well over a year in a half, maybe two years now. He likes to do that incognito shit, like one time I met him up at his job and while he was working in a hotel room we went Into the bathroom and done out thang, and needless to say that was some hot azz nut he busted. He got off by the thrill of being caught. We occasionally still meet and that thug bro comes in smelling like weed and in his hoodie and it turns me on.

        1. Good point Jmz. Maybe this brother gets a thrill from having sex with his family upstairs. I knew of this married guy who hosted football game parties. Guys would freak during the party. I can’t remember whether his wife was home.

  2. Is it reckless? Sure.
    Is it disrespectful? Perhaps.
    Is it not smart? Maybe.
    Is it dangerous and hot? Hell yeah.

    That’s kinda the point. That’s what makes the sex even more hot; the thought that you could get caught. It’s like having sex in public places. It amps the sex up. The only thing that doesn’t make it hot…is well, actually getting caught. I get that, this isn’t your cup of tea type of sex. You got to be completely comfortable…with age comes more of a desire for comfort. I mean for others, who hasn’t done it in the living room, with their sex partner’s 8 month pregnant sister sleeping upstairs….or snuck in through the backdoor, up the back stairs, down the hallway passed the uncle’s bedroom to get it in….or a brother/ cousin sleeping in the next room and a dressers pushed to the door because the door didn’t lock or shut good. I mean it happens. Honestly I don’t think the kids would have come down to the basement. His girl…maybe, but she’s not coming ready with a knife or frying pan; she may go get one, but you should be out the backdoor and at your car, by that time. What happens to him after that…well that ain’t your problem.
    Would I do it? I would have went, and evaluated the situation…took it from there. Took him to the car or picked him up took him to my place, do whatever, then took his butt back to his girl. But I can see that seems like a lot of trouble and hassle for you.

    As for you talking to this man about his choice and the down low path…well I have just one thing to say.

    I say that truly with much respect. Believe it or not. Who are you to give this man you don’t know or met, unsolicited advice? Who is he to take this advice from you? You would be wasting your time. This man is not going to take any advice from a stranger from Adam4adam. Who didn’t have sex with him. You are not his friend; not even a friend with benefits. I personally don’t think you can give him advice until you have one or two sexual experience with him, and talked in person, before you can give him advice.

    We all on here, know your experience and knowledge on the subject, but it would just go on deaf ears at this point with him.
    What exactly would you say to him?

      1. Oh Manny, I don’t think I said, don’t give him advice, just not now. I didn’t say he wouldn’t listen, just not now. I think sex needs to happen first, some dick sucking, some “making it rain.” Maybe during or right after he is hormonal…by the way, I’m going to need you to explain that comment to me, because I don’t get it. I’m so confused on that. Does he have sex with men during his time of the month?

        Some of the best and most insightful conversation, have been had right after someone has came. No joke…seriously.

  3. Fortune Knowles

    Oh my God Immanuel, boo. You have such an exceptional way with words!! Damn, wheb are you publishing that book you keep mulling over?? Do it already bruh and I promise you It will fly off the shelves Barnes& Noble will not know what hit them,I kid you not!!
    And as for that situation, the least you would have done is obliged the bruthas request since you have certainly walked 10 Miles in his shoes. You know how it gets when you are in that situation.
    And yes, I think dude will be more amenable and open to your pearls of wisdom once he catches a nutt or twelve with you.
    As always, great writing my darling.
    Much love,
    Your Kenyan brotha,

    1. Jmz

      I agree with Fortune, Immanuel you need to write a book, just reading your blog is an inspiration bro! I’m dealing with something heavy and could really use some motivation to move on with
      My Life. I just broke off a somewhat long term relationship with another guy
      And I can’t seem to shake it. Help y’all
      It sucks

      1. Jmz, thanks man. Yes I do need to write. Been thinking about it. I’m so sorry about the end of your relationship. That’s hard. I’ve been there a few times. It’s hurts. Period. Do you want to reconcile with him? Be friends? If so, try to work on that. If that doesn’t work out you have to go cold turkey and find ways to distract yourself. Hang out with friends. Go on a date. Pick up a new hobby. Have plenty of sex. LOL. Okay, you don’t have to have plenty of sex.

      2. Jmz

        I guess I’ll be going the latter route at this point, cold turkey. We’ve had our ups and downs but this time I believe we’re done. It’s hard because where we live everyone knows someone who you know and he likes to frequent the clubs a lot. I guess I’ll have to meet men in the library LOL.

  4. marcus

    Manny. You of all people I’m sure because you been down that road, understand the journey of a man on the down low. It’s a difficult situation to be into and sometimes a person might feel like getting caught will force his hand. I don’t blame you for not being a participant in his madness. He seem to be really having a moment to compromise the sanity of his kids and wife if he got caught. I never got so hard up that I had to resource to risky behavior. I would stay as far away from him as I could if I was you. Take care and have a great day.

  5. SpeakingTheTruth

    I must admit that was very careless and disrespectful. But I probably would of did it. I did do it before lol. I ain’t worried about nobody Situations. Unless I know the person like that and I know their background. Otherwise to each his own.

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