Can Two Tops Work?

Can Two Tops Work?

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes two tops get together and form a relationship.

Believe me there are times when it isn’t easy. I ought to know. That’s what happened to my partner Morgan and me.

“Why do you always have to try to run things?” Morgan will ask.

“Why don’t you just do what I tell you to do,” I will answer.

“Why do you always have to have the last word, Immanuel?”

“Because I’m the shit. You haven’t figured that out?”

Experts says communication is a key to two tops being in a relationship.

See this is what happens when you have two tops living together. It’s like two roosters try to run the roost. Feathers will get ruffled. But the bickering can also be a great form of foreplay.

For readers who aren’t up on the terminology in the gay world there are tops, bottoms, verse tops, versatiles, bottoms and versatile bottoms.

Roughly these terms mean there are guys who like to fuck other men; guys who like to be fucked exclusively; guys who are more top than bottom; versatile men who can fuck or be fucked, sometimes during the same sexual encounter; and finally men who prefer to bottom but can throw dick in a pinch.

Sound confusing? Yep, it is because there are men who are exclusive tops who will give up some ass if they find a man they love enough to flip for. And I know bottoms who will flip a negro over and bang the hell out of them if they fit a certain criteria.

Long-time readers of this blog will know I was never too big on bottoming. It is still not something I crave doing. Part of it is mental — you have to submit and be more passive in the act. Frankly I love being the aggressor.

 The other half is physical — there is a lot of preparation to get ready to bottom. I won’t get into the particulars — you might have just eaten dinner. And Morgan has long dick and I have a long dick so we had to get accustomed to that.

However, one of the hottest things about our relationship is its diversity. Some days Morgan will bottom or sometimes I will take that role. Some of the best sex we have is when we light candles, smoke a joint, and take turns fucking each other for an hour or so.

On days when nobody wants to bottom we do heavy petting or just jerk off. So no sex session is exactly the same.

I went trolling the Web for some expert advice on how to make Top/Top relationships work.

Brian Rzepczynski, the Gay Love Coach, is a social worker and relationships counselor who specializes in LGBT issues. Matt Suissa is co-founder of They offered this advice to two tops who want to date and form a relationship:

  • Fully communicate your sexual needs before the relationship deepens. Negotiate what sexual acts you will or will not do. If you can’t or won’t bottom the relationship likely is dead on arrival.
  • Open up the relationship by bringing in a bottom to tag team when neither feels like being the bottom. However, realize that bringing in a third could threaten the relationship so set clear rules such as no kissing the bottom and no repeat threesomes.
  • Sex is not just about straight fucking. Experiment with other ways to get off.
  • Be flexible and open to a new adventure.

Q: Okay readers, you have heard advice from Rzepcynski and Suissa. Can relationships exist between two tops or two bottoms? What advice would you give?


  1. Swordfight! 😉
    when I first started dating my guy Rob, he had only ever been with one other guy and bottomed for him so he assumed that was his role. And so did I until he whipped that pretty mofo out. I HAD to convert him into being a top. We still kinda dabble in the Vers sometimes but… That nigga can throw some dick…

    Already being Vers anyway, it wasn’t a question of me dating another top or bottom. Our biggest issue is age. I’m 21 and he’s damn near pushing 40. Which is an entirely different issue. Smh. -_-


  2. deeboe

    Why can’t two men get along? If I can get philosophical. I came out in the late, late 70’s in NYC when there were no labels. Men did what men do. Now of course if you met up with a feminine Guy of course you fucked him. That top bottom & versatile shyt came in the 80’s when kids wanted to be defined. Still no matter what men are still men. Whether or not he say he’s a top, if he meets another brutha that’s overwhelms him. He will bottom out for that brutha. A lot of tops will not addmit it, but it’s true……mainly because it happens to me a lot. But I do not think twice about it because men are going to be men. And that means anything I Think I’m big and bad enough to do I’m going to do. So if you like or love your boy be with him and make each other happy

  3. Cogito: You have to write about that age difference thing. How does that work?

    Gayte-Keeper: How are you? Yeah, if you want something to work you can.

    deeboe: My partner Morgan agrees with you wholeheartedly. He came out in the late 70s when he was stil a teenager. He grew up in Detroit.

    He said people didn’t have labels then — you saw a guy you liked you got together and had sex with them. You might prefer to top but hey, ike you said, if you were feeling them you did what it took.

    Morgan said he never heard of this sex position thing until he moved East in the ’80s. That is worth doing some research on. Why did gays start adopting labels?

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