7 Kinds of Black Tops…

7 Kinds of Black Tops…

Okay readers, since I did the 7 Kinds of Black Bottoms I had to do Tops too, right. Like the bottom entry I wrote this in jest (well, kinda sorta). If any Top you know is like one of these seven types the similarity was purely coincidental.

The Daddy Top

He is usually a middle-aged man who has an obsession with younger, tight bodies. Maybe the Daddy Top is going through mid-life crisis and these young men help recapture a part of his youth. Or maybe he is not as successful as he should be at his stage of life or is emotionally insecure and naive young bottoms looking for a Daddy figure are the only ones he can bullshit into giving him some ass. They often choose careers where they have access to young people, such as high school teachers, counselors, and sports coaches.

Sexual habits: They are partial to slender, in-shape guys or the feminine crowd. Some use sex with younger men to compensate for all the control they lack in real life. So many like to dominate their partners. “Get on your knees and suck this dick, you little bitch,” “You like Daddy’s dick, don’t you?” and “Call me Daddy” are common expressions they use during sex. Although not necessary pedophiles, their craving for young ass can sometimes have a devastating legal and financial impact on their lives. Remember Bishop Eddie Long?

Natural Habitat: The gym, high school sports events, church, bars and clubs where young gay men gather.


The Stick-It-In Tops

These are usually straight-identified men who have been curious about gay sex so decide to try it. They simply want to go in, get their nutt, and get back to girlfriend or the wifey as soon as they can. Or they can be gay men who just have poor lovemaking skills, perhaps because they have a big dick or are extremely handsome so never really had to work to get ass.

Sexual Habits: They are usually so horny and pent-up they don’t care who they fuck, as long as it’s a warm ass. Fat, short, skinny or lame they don’t care. They don’t kiss, they don’t eat ass. They just want to lay back and let the bottom suck their dick and get them hard. Then they stick it in and fuck and get their nutt. Did the bottom get his nutt, too? They don’t give a fuck. Their target of choice: low self-esteem bottoms grateful for some dick or bottoms who get off on pulling some “straight” dick.

Natural Habitat:  The office, gym, straight clubs and bars, sports bars, gay clubs.


The Husband Top

They are really looking for the ONE. That handsome, well-rounded bottom they can come home to, tell all about their day, and have a home cooked meal. Sometimes the husband top comes from a culture where traditional male/female roles are the norm (I notice many are Caribbean or African). Or he may have transitioned from the straight to gay world and wants to duplicate the type of relationships he had with women. Or he is not into endless hookups and recreational sex and really savor an emotional bond.

Sexual habits: They are usually into sensuous, romantic good sex, at least at the beginning of a relationship. They also like it on a regular basis…like every Friday night right after work. But the danger is they fall into a boring sexual routine or have less sex if the relationship grows stale. The Husband Top is also more prone to sitting on his ass in front of the flat screen and gaining weight, just like many of  his straight, married counterparts.

Natural Habitat: Church, online hook-up sites where they advertise for relationships, house parties, sporting events.


The Gym Top (aka Muscle Tops)

Like the gym bottom, these dudes are looking for extremely well-built bottoms. They work out a lot and keep their bodies in shape, and think their sex partners should try to at least keep up the pace.

Sexual habits: They are sometimes into a lot of wrestling before they get down to the business of fucking. This gives them a chance to really admire and check out their partner’s bodies. Massage oil is essential during foreplay, all the more to get their muscles glistening and more well defined. A word of caution — don’t be surprised if they have a smaller dick or can’t carry a conversation. You see, the muscles sometime compensate for what is lacking in other departments.

Natural Habit: The gym, sporting events, the Penn Relays and Blatino Oasis.


The Tops Who Like Other Tops

They may be tired of banging out thirsty bottoms and want to take a break by getting together with another top who is into some mutual making out and oral.

Sexual habits: They advertise on online hookup websites as tops but are always hitting up other tops, especially ones that show big dick shots. They give the best head, better than many bottoms, because they really like dick. They may team up with another top to threesome because they get off watching another dude tear up some ass. Or they may secretly want to bottom but can’t get up the nerve or are afraid they will mess up their stud reputation. So during the threesome they live vicariously through the bottom. There are also some Tops Who Like Other Tops who get a thrill from making guys who identify as tops flip and bottom for them. Because everyone knows tops have the best ass, right?

Natural Habitat: Gyms, bath houses, sex parties, online.



The Feminine Top

He is so trendy and effeminate you think he is a bottom or at least a verse. That is until you get him in the bedroom.

Sexual habits: Feminine tops often have big dicks. And believe me they know how to use them. Don’t be fooled by all that swishing and his designer man bag and manicured nails. He will fuck you into next week then get on Twitter to brag to the “girls” about how he made you bitch out for his dick.

Natural Habitat: Clothing stores, beauty parlors, Gay Pride Parades and events, fashion shows.


The Delusional Top

This is a man ashamed of being gay and thinks bragging to the world that he is a big macho top will deflect from what he really wants to do — bottom or be versatile.

Sexual habitats: They brag that they throw good sex but the sex is often lackluster. They will top you a few times but then around the second or third session they will show their true colors by asking you to finger their hole while you suck their dick and to eat their ass out. Before you know it you will be fucking them more than they fuck you. But shhhhh! Don’t tell their buddies. It would blow his cover.








  1. Pingback: 7 Kinds of Black Bottoms… | CONFESSIONS OF A DOWN-LOW BROTHER: THE SEQUEL

  2. Immanuel, Black top who tops only white bottoms. My best example was from the early ’70’s, S.F./Oakland. I was the “white boy”, 22, he was 24, muscular, sports jock/professional type, liked to think he was dominant in everything. Said things like he would never be with another black man. Would never be with a guy hung bigger than he was (how to delicately point out that I was? he told me to shut up but obviously loved it). Was overjoyed when I got him to cum twice. Loved that I “didn’t have a nelly bone in my body”. Awkward to try and explain that his thinking Chinese men can shoot farther than others was just another stereotype/myth. We were at The City (in S.F.) and after dancing for hours we were resting and watching others dance, I was behind him, put my arms around his chest and my head on his shoulder. He had to reverse us… I loved him holding me so no problem but was “amazed” that he thought even that might suggest he wasn’t “the Man”. We sort of broke up once, months later he called me, was surprised that I could “outlast” him. I told him I hadn’t been waiting for him to call, but yeah I had really missed him. We were an amazing couple, a couple of what I never could figure out. Second time we fought over something (stupid ’cause I can’t even remember what it was) he told me he would NEVER say sorry twice. That sort of summed it up for me. Me all these years later? As versatile as possible, just love making love. Yeah, I love ethnic men… from African to Irish…Arab to Viking… and am in love with a Mexican man and live here in Mexico. Bi-lingual, bi-cultural, bi-sexual, bi-national… To bring this to a close, Is there such a thing as a “passive orgasm”? Do “fems” have feminine orgasms? Nope. As for topping a man, if I open for him and am up on “top” riding him, I figure I’m the top, and when he opens for me and the one thing he wants most is to have me inside him, at which point we become “one”, and especially if we cum together, this whole top/bottom thing kinda becomes meaningless. Like talking Freud, does the woman “swallow up” the man’s cock in her vagina? She “takes” his cum and then gives him back his cock all limp, thus SHE is in control/dominant? When I suck the cum out of my man, with my mouth and/or my culo, I sure as hell ain’t the passive one. Guess I just feel like I’m on TOP of the world.

    1. Wow what a great recollection and wise words. That black guy in your past had a lot of issues. It seemed like he painted himself into a lot corners. Do you regret tolerating him for as long as you did? And your description of being versatile is hot. I’ve always admired gay men who can do more than one trick. Keep living your life to the fullest and enjoy life in Mexico. And thanks for taking time to read my blog.

  3. way2ec

    No regrets, well maybe only one, and that would be that I didn’t call him, try to make it work, keep the love, the heat, the fucking good times going. Would he have let me back in to his life? He said I was the best he’d ever had. I wonder if I was the best he would ever have. It wasn’t like I was “tolerating” him, more like learning, learning about limitations. Like dancing in a tight space. We were so hot together. I love that your site is all about black on black, and your observations of the whole black and white scenes are so spot on. I loved his blackness, he loved my whiteness and at the same time we came to know and love our own colors. I’d never felt whiter, I wonder if he’d ever felt blacker. It is playing out again with my man here in Mexico and extends even more into culture and language. My family was so redneck, in a small town, imagine the learning curve for me when he took me to Bojangles in S.F. an all black gay club, and when leaving we faced how many cops lined up on the other side of the street, waiting for? I felt like a marshmallow in rich dark chocolate and if the cops thought I was a nigga luvah… I WAS! and proud of it! When you wrote about Morgan calling you, and you know you miss him, I almost wrote then to tell you that there isn’t enough love in the world, best to get over whatever the limitations are and allow whatever love you might still have, or might be able to generate again together, why turn your back on it? Especially given that you two can share another man together. But as Mom always said, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Please allow me to be “stupid” for a moment here. Cinderella putting her foot into the glass slipper (I always feel like the stepsisters, trying to jam my big foot into something so limiting) but for us here, the prince is out fucking and getting fucked trying to find that perfect “fit” he had back at the “ball”. Once you’ve had that “perfect fit” why would you let it go? I asked a friend once how she knew it was time for her divorce. Her immediate answer was “When you can’t be yourself anymore”. But what if it is we who are limiting ourselves?

  4. Jack Reacher

    Hi Immanuel 22, thanks so much for your blow by blow literally and figuratively. I too concur with the comments made by that gentleman about his former partner, continue to be you, adios.

  5. Harlembrotha

    I read both your Tops and Bottoms columns, and while I know you say you wrote them in jest, I must confess, I saw myself in both columns. It was startlingly dead on and eye opening. I now have to take a long look at my life.

  6. I think I get the most hollers from daddy tops…which, I guess, is my “thing”. But you’re right about how some tops secretly want to bottom out. You couldn’t tell me NUFFIN the first time I flipped a masc top over!


  7. Jay

    Blatino muscle bottom here. Most of these are true especially muscle top and fem top. Tbh the best fuck I’ve ever had was a fem but super hung top I met on jack’d. Girl fucked me to next week.

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