Can Gay Men Settle Down?

Can Gay Men Settle Down?

Last week gay marriage became officially legal in Washington, D.C. and couples flocked to the courthouse downtown to apply for licenses.

However, according to press reports most of  the couples were lesbians. I saw one distinguished-looking black gentlemen on the television, holding up a piece of paper with a number that indicated he was one of the first three to apply for a license.

But where was his partner? He wasn’t even in the camera shot. Perhaps he didn’t do so for privacy. But why wasn’t he standing proudly by his mate like the lesbians?

Which leads to the subject of today’s blog. Can gay men settle down and get married?

Okay, first off the bat I have a confession to make.

Personally I’m skeptical about men committing to each other long term. It seems so many men are just about sex and the availability of online sex makes it so easy to change partners, like kids jumping from horse to horse on a freaky merry-go-round.

Folks are even using the possibility of legal marriage to GET sex hookups.

I was eating lunch Friday with a married friend, “Virgil,” who just broke up with a flaky male lover. Virgil was refusing to accept his phone calls and texts. His ex-lover was getting desperate for dick so sent a text that went something like this:

“The legalization of gay marriage has really made me more aware of the possibilities we could have. I’m so excited.”

“Virgil, is that nigger tripping? You are still married to your wife,” I said while chomping down on my burger. “He is using marriage to try to win you back? Oh, please!”

“Immanuel, I didn’t even bother to answer him back,” Virgil said.

“I’m proud of you man. Don’t let that fool rope you back in.”

But hey, I’m new at this gay life shit and I really entered through the sex route. So this morning I called my old buddy “Andre” and asked him if men really could form long-lasting, marital relationships.

Andre assured me men can and do. In fact, he predicted half the couples marrying in Washington, D.C. would be men.

We shall see. I already got a text from one gay couple I know. It came at 1 a.m. in the morning.

“Guess what Immanuel? Byron and I are engaged!


  1. Anonymous

    It all depends on the reason people get married. Is it because of the love and committment made to each other and they would be together whether they married or not? Or is it because they think a contract will MAKE them be committed and faithful to each other? If it's the second reason, they should not get married.

    This has less to do with gender for me. It more about the people involved. People get married and people get divorced.

    Being honorable, having integrity, faithfulness, honesty, committment. These are not genders. They are qualities that HUMAN BEINGS either possess or do not. Saying that all men are dogs and can't married means that you think of yourself as LESS than human. To acknowledge a certain male individual does not have the qualities needed for that type of committment is fair, but for someone to decide all male human beings don't possess these qualities means the one speaking doesn't have these, and assumes everyone is like them. That says that the person speaking usually has a very small world in which they live, so their view reflects that. I know male couples that lasted 20 minutes. After they nutted they left, even after they talked a lot of shit to get my friend in bed. I know male couples who have been together 35 years or more. Their love have been strong from the beginning and have never strayed.
    Whether a relationship last is up to the human beings involved, not just the gender.

    Peace, D1961

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