The White Dude

The White Dude

Look, I didn’t know he was white when we first met. I thought he was just a real light-skinned black man. Come on, the room was dim. How was I supposed to know?

And he is not really, really white. He is a Sephardic Jew whose ancestors once lived in Spain and Portugal. So his hair is dark, his eyes are a warm, rich brown and his skin is olive. His balding hair is cut close to the scalp, just like a black man.

My buddy “Leo” introduced me to “Carlos” a few weeks ago. It was Friday night and I was off from work with nothing to do so I asked Leo to hit a bar or club with me.

“Let me take you over to meet and old friend of mine, Carlos,” Leo said. “Then we can go out.”

Hanging out at some guys’ house was not what I had in mind. It had been a long, hard week at work and I was ready to unwind.

“Hey, who is this friend?”

“Just a nice dude so come on.”

So we went to Carlos’ house. And Leo and I never made it to that club because Carlos and I unexpectedly hit it off. I am usually not attracted to white men but he was a good conversationalist, has a voice as smooth as soy milk, and we had a lot in common professionally.

So Leo, Carlos and I went through a bottle of wine and ended up in the bedroom — an impromptu, interracial threesome.

Before we started Carlos looked at me deeply and asked, “Are you sure you want to start our friendship like this? We don’t have to do this.”

I thought a moment. I was high on the wine. “Shit, let’s just do it.”

But the threesome was more like a two-some. It was like Leo was not there — it was just Carlos and me. His kisses were light but warm. His olive body was covered with hair that was soft against my smooth black body like a warm, furry blanket.

As the sex heated up he started talking and moaning to me in Spanish, urging me to jerk my dick and bust my nutt for him. I don’t know Spanish — I took French — but I picked out some words. “Oooh Papi.” “Negro.” “Bello.”

Wait, “Negro?” Was he calling me a nigger in Spanish? I didn’t have time to think because cum was soon spurting  from my dick and running through my fingers.

Leo went home but I spent the night. The next day over coffee I couldn’t stop bringing up race and how I was slightly uncomfortable with him. It kept slipping into the conversation.

However, for a Jewish guy Carlos surprised me. He knew a lot about black culture and wasn’t shy about letting me know. Shit, he even had Jiffy cornbread mix in the cupboard and listened to black gospel music on the radio.

I don’t even like gospel music. It all sounds the same to me. But Carlos made me feel relaxed and at ease and we had so much to talk about. The art hanging on his walls, Obama and health care reform, race relations, and the Holocaust. And like me he is a father so we talked about our kids.

“Let’s slow down,” he said. “I want to get to know you. Most people bore me. They are so banal.”

So in the past week we have gone out on dates and hung out a bit. He lives near my office and once met me downstairs just to talk for a few minutes before he hopped on the subway to go to his job.

Nothing serious. No ties. No obligations.Just two guys getting to know each other, to develop something that is more than just skin deep.


  1. Hey Immanuel, great post, I love your blog, though it seems like it's in anonymity, like if I was reading a story from some mysterious writer, lol. I have a few friends in DC that are down-low and I don't judge, it's not my life and you deal with that. Hopefully you hit it off with Carlos.

    Good luck,


  2. Mr. Confession, Can we meet to discuss your possible acceptance of being a participant in my Doctoral Dissertation. Title: AFRICAN AMERICAN GAY MEN LIFESTYLE SOCIALIZATION FAMILY AND DUAL SECRET IDENTITY “ON THE DOWN LOW”. I have secured 6 AA gay men and also need 2 DL brothers if you choose to accept. I can email you a short verstion of my Dissertation so you can get an idea what I am writing. All information is confidential and no names will be used. I have not decided if I am going to use pseudonyms or #'s. If you are unable to help me, can you lead me in the direction I am looking for? Also their will be a survey, an interview and a chance to tell your “narrative story”. Please feel free to contact me with your acceptance and/or questions.

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