True Life

True Life

I like to wake up early, before the crack of dawn, when the world is still quiet and still. It gives me a chance to reflect, to think, and sometimes catch something I normally wouldn’t.
This morning it was MTV’s “True Life” (
“True Life” is a documentary series that follows issues facing young people, including drug addiction and young marriage. Today’s episode was on bisexual young adults.
Danielle, a buxom, peroxided blonde from California, was married to a Marine who was away most of the time. She had a girlfriend, too. Ultimately she lost both. Her husband filed for divorce and she broke up with her girlfriend, who openly flirted with a man when they went to a nightclub.
Sydney, from Plano, Texas, likes girls and guys. She hooks up with “AD,” a contestant from the reality show “G’s and Gents” and goes to visit him in Atlanta. They eventually become an item but later she breaks up with him because they are not compatible. She is still searching for a man who can accept her sexuality.
Then there is Marquees, a young, black, metrosexual male from New Haven, Conn. He tells his mother he is bisexual and she doesn’t like his lifestyle. She urges him to find a girl and settle down. Later he dates Makeda and tells her he dates girls and he dates guys, but never at the same time.
Makeda, who is a fine, little honey, takes it in stride. “It’s human,” she says.
But on a later date in New York City she admits that the possibility he may be scoping guys at the same time they are dating unnerves her and she just wants to be “friends.” Her suspicions are actually on point — Marquees admitted to an openly gay friend he was more attracted to males but wanted to settle down with a woman.
After getting let down softly by Makeda Marquees dates a dude but breaks up with him a month later.
Okay, the program was depressing in a way. The bisexual women and men came across as being immature and fickle. With Marquees in particular you get the feeling he is really gay but is trying to live up to his mother’s expectations. I would advise him to be true to yourself (ain’t that a blip? Me giving advice). He is young and can still shape his life as he wishes.
But on the other hand it was encouraging to see sexuality treated in a mature, open manner on a network that caters to young people. Folks in their teens, 20s and 30s are muchmore open about the variations of sexuality that exist in human beings. There is far less pressure for them to fit in a box the way folks in theirs 40s, 50s and older were.
Take “Benny” for example. He is a dude I hook up with sometimes who is is 34 years old. Benny is an IT professional and loves to work out at the gym. In fact, sex with him is like having a good workout — he likes the act to be physical and aggressive. You would never know he is downlow — he comes across as downright thuggish. He is so open and honest about his sexuality it alwayssurprises me.
“Man, I have always been into men and women,” he told me one time. “Shit, back in college sometimes I would smoke some joints with my boys and we would freak with each other or we would freak with each other and girls.”
In 50 years, unless there is a major shift to the right in American culture (this could happen again — remember the Reagan Years and the Moral Majority) I think there will much more acceptance of gays and bisexuals. I am already seeing it happening within my own lifetime.
So in a few decades guys like Marquees won’t have to try to be straight to please their mommas.


  1. Anonymous

    I have been following your blog for a while and thought it was a hoax until you used the term “ain't that a blip?” That is an aunthentic phrase black folk used back in the day. It would be familiar ti someone in your age group. I am being convinced that the blogger and his experiences may be true. Sorry I doubted.

  2. Dude, this stuff is all true. I couldn't make this up if I tried. Thanks for being a faithful reader. And sorry it took so long to answer but I just started noticing comments coming in so I am going back and answering them. Now “ain't that a blip?!”
    Take care.

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