“Uh oh,” I think, feeling like a little kid caught pissing in the neighbor’s garden. “What did I do?”
I respect Andre. His advice is always sound. He was married to a woman at one time. After that relationship ended he transitioned into the gay world. He has buried two long-term lovers and at times struggled financially.
But he always keeps going and is one of the warmest people I know. His door is always open and you know you can go there to land a decent meal, good conversation, great sex, or just have an ear to listen to.
Andre read the blog about crazy “Evan” and it concerned him.
“You really need to slow down and be careful. I don’t want to read about you in the newspaper.”
I bristle a bit inside but I tell myself shut up and listen and learn. Andre has been in the gay world a lot longer.
“And you need to limit these sex parties. If you get a reputation for going to them people can talk about you. And some of these queens can be vicious. You just haven’t seen that yet.”
“Look, I’m going to take you to some events where there is not sex so you can meet some gays who are doing some positive things.”
“And don’t put so much information in your blog about what you do. People can use that against you, too. And you should really consider forming a support group to help other guys like you. You know, you don’t how you could help somebody else.”
“Hey Andre, I appreciate that. I’ll listen to what you say,” I respond. And I plan to.
Okay, from what I read when guys come out they get real promiscuous because the gay life is new and they want to bust loose and express themselves. But later you get acculturated and tone the sex down, going more for quality than quantity.
Other buddies “in the family” tell me Andre’s advice is sound. My good buddy “Rex” said I could meet a crazy hookup who is mad I don’t want to sex them any more. That person could spread vicious gossip about me.
Wow, this gay culture is more complex than I thought. There are land mines out there. I feel like a babe in the woods sometimes.